howdy howdy howdy

joey

mortalityplays:

not caring if people think you’re stupid is a life hack. recognising that you are kind of stupid is an even bigger life hack. we build entire societies to take care of each other bc we’re all kind of stupid. it’s fine.

(via guiltybystanders)

janemorris:

take me down to paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are (remembers im playing at a gay bar on bear night) men

(via megaampharos)

allhailthegodofbugs:

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

shock:

campyvillain:

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

just here to say i started using this joke on middle schoolers and it completely disarms them in every situation thanks so much

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

prisonhannibal:

what the fuck do you mean “overstimulated” I acted like that because I absorbed all the noises and stress and textures from the grocery store because I’m an empath

(via guiltybystanders)

bing bang wadda wadda bing bang. ya know?

thenightwemetnatural:

theghostontheshoremp3:

being on tumblr desktop version is so fucking funny like girl i’m bloggin’

using mobile: haha phone friends 

using desktop: dear mutuals, per my last post-

(via guiltybystanders)

honestly i wouldn’t mind being eaten. like if i died i think it would be really swell if someone took pleasure in getting nourishment from my meat and bones. if someone slow braised me and seared me and felt happy digging in that would be cool

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

“oh mein gott” destroyed germany, “woa mama mia cunt” destroyed italy, and “naur” destroyed australia. who is next?

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(via tardis-mind-palace)

applefae:

floristyunho:

brucemanimean-batwayne:

how did we all just casually listen to Take Me To Church on the radio in 2014??

you’re telling me we really heard lyrics like “there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin” and “if i’m a pagan of the good times, my lover’s the sunlight” and didn’t go absolutely buck wild???

bold of you to assume i can comprehend the words that are said even to this day

as soon as hozier says “she’s the giggle at a funeral” my vision greys out and i wake up 4 hours later in a church garden, shovelling handfuls of dirt into my mouth

(via tardis-mind-palace)

inkmo:
“happens to the best of us
”

inkmo:

happens to the best of us

(via sappharomyces)

teaboot:

teaboot:

Just passed a group of teenage girls walking downtown…. wearing cargo pants and platform crocs…. nature really is healing……

Cannot stress enough that this is NOT a condemnation, this is genuine delight that young girls in my town have stopped dressing up like Kardashians and are finally just goofing around on summer break in comfortable shoes and funky graphic shirts.

15 year olds should not be worries about having a thigh gap, they should be trying on SpongeBob bucket hats at the pier and drinking twice their weight in corn syrup like hummingbirds

(via tardis-mind-palace)

greelin:

greelin:

the kudzu consumes us all

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sleepinnyc:

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absolutely no thoughts, just these vintage Peter Bliss lamps from the 1980’s 🥀

(via greelin)

outwardly i am telling him i never want to have sex with him again,, inwardly,, i am picturing him penetrating me